St. Petersburg

July 24th-25th
St. Petersburg, Russia

I had an interesting overnight this visit to Russia. Unlike my first visit, this time around wasn’t so tour heavy because I actually wanted to go out at night. The first day started off slow with me sleeping in. I actually didn’t mean to sleep as late as I did, but after the hour time change and forgetting I needed my seaman’s book to step off the ship, I couldn’t get into town until 3:30. This meant I only had 3 hours before I need to be back at the ship, so I filled the time with a lot of walking. It was an absolutely perfect day and I enjoyed my limited time before hopping on a shuttle back to the ship.
I needed to be back at the ship for a tour I was signed up to escort, “Evening at the Russian Ballet.” Ooooo…ahhhhhhh…. I figured, with not knowing whether or not I’ll ever be back in Russia, I had no choice but to go to the Ballet. There was one problem though, my beloved (ha) musical director scheduled another couple of sets that night, meaning I couldn’t go. He did, however, mention that he’d be happy so long as someone was playing the sets, meaning if I could find a sub, I’d be able to go to my ballet. Now, there’s only one other alto sax player on the ship, so it’s not like I didn’t know who I had to call, and after some persuasion, I convinced him into playing my set while I went to the ballet. It actually worked out well because John, the sub, had Port Manning when the ship goes to Rome, which I volunteered to cover for him seeing as I’ve been there a couple times already and will be going back a couple more. He was ecstatic and took the set without any further negotiation – good deal.
So I set off for the ballet that evening, dressed up and excited for one of the more cultural events of my cruise ship career. I found out we were to see Swan Lake, the Tchaikovsky classic. We arrived at the theater, I helped my group to there seats, and then set out to find a better, unoccupied seat for myself, which I did in the third row. The theater wasn’t nearly as spectacular as I was expecting, and in fact, was rather plain. No elaborate paintings, huge statues, or gold paint to be seen, it was as non-Russian as could be. But I didn’t really care, the ballet was starting. Now I don’t consider myself to be very educated on the culture of ballet, nor am I in any position to really comment on the quality of the dancing, but I have no problem commenting on the costumes. Looking back on it all, I guess I didn’t really know what to expect to see when I went into it, but as soon as the first guy came out in tights and a top that ended well above his hips, putting way too much emphasis on a certain bulge, I knew I was in for a long night. I understand that what they were wearing is appropriate for dance and totally acceptable in ballet, but I mean come on, any dude that goes on stage with so blatant a protrusion and hops around doing the splits in the air has got to have issues. At least there were 20 swans in most scenes, providing some distraction from this twisted version of “follow the bouncing ball(s).” Then there was the fight scene that I took issue with. I’m well aware they don’t actually fight in ballet, I’m not that ignorant, but I was at least hoping for some “Westside Story” fighting, where they at least jump in the vicinity of the person they’re “brawling” with. Not so in Swan Lake. Here, the main guy did a duet with the main swan, ran off the stage, at which point the evil magician entered, jumped up and down twice, and then collapsed on the floor. Not much of a villain if you ask me. But the two guys didn’t even make eye contact, much less dance out some resemblance of a fight. The only way I knew was that the program described the fight the broke out between the hero and the magician…not that the magician would simply keel over and die, which I figured could only be because his “pants” were too tight. Anyways, that was the show, or at least my take on it. I did enjoy it for what it was and was glad to have gone to a ballet in Russia, but likewise, am glad that this isn’t a frequent thing for me. But in all fairness, the music was great and you could tell the dancers were very talented, so it was a good ballet, the fact is that I just have issues. Well, that being said, back to the ship.
I got back to the ship around 11:15 that night and caught the final set my band was playing. They finished at midnight, and after hanging around for a bit, I found Patrick was willing to get off the ship for the night. The plan was to hop on the shuttle and get to the nightclub where most of the crew was supposed to be, something I thought sounded like an interesting way to spend a night in Russia. Patrick and I got off the ship just after 1:00 and waited around for 20 minutes without ever seeing the shuttle, and being impatient, decided to start walking. The problem with walking is that the port area is very long and our ship is at the opposite end of the exit into the city, making for a very long walk through a less than attractive industrial shipyard. As soon as we started walking, however, a cab driver approached trying to sell a ride. Me, being the cheapskate that I am, wasn’t going to pay the $40 he wanted to take us where ever he thought we wanted to go, and after saying no a million times, he offered to take us to the end of the port for $10, which I guess wasn’t a bad deal. So we hopped in the Russian cab with this Russian driver and began our Russian experience.
The first adventure actually happened in the cab when we came across a freight train that was parked across the road out of the port. Seeing this, the cab driver turned around, made his way onto a dirt road, and at breakneck speeds, swerved between huge piles of metal through the clouds of dust. As I sat in the back of the cab being jostled around by the large bumps and pot holes, I couldn’t help but feeling like I was on the wrong side of a James Bond car chase (in my Russian cab). It was really exciting though, and I guess a good way to start off the night.
We eventually arrived at the gate where the driver pointed us towards a night club before driving off. We had no idea which club everyone was at and could only hope it was the one we had been pointed towards, so we began our walking journey. As soon as we stepped outside of the gate, we were approached by an older Russian lady, not especially pleasant looking. She said the club was closed, some other weird stuff in broken English, and then said she had some girls for us. Patrick got a little excited about the offer, which I quickly declined and talked him out of even considering. When the lady understood I wasn’t buying pointed us in the direction of the club as we walked off. I was confused because I had thought I heard her say the club was closed, but it didn’t matter, we started walking.
It wasn’t long till we arrived at the place we’d been pointed towards. It was a club themed specially for the cruise ship crew, but after walking in and seeing no familiar faces, we knew it wasn’t the club we were looking for. We left and continued on down the street, walking parallel to a river, looking for another place to stop. From this point till about 6 AM, we did little more than walk the streets. We never did find the club we were looking for, nor did we ever find a place worth stopping at on our own. There were a few bars we stuck our heads in, but being in Russia, it’s slightly difficult to find one where you might feel comfortable. We stopped at a couple gas stations to by Russian beer when the opportunity arose, stopped at a bunch of convenience stores where no one spoke English or took credit cards, and walked till we felt it was time to turn around and head back. We had a few meetings with random Russians on the street, each of which was weirder than the last. There was one group who we crossed paths with where a guy was trying to sell me something for 20 “rubli,” as he called it. There was another guy that Patrick had a hell of a time trying to get a match for a cigarette from. There were a few others, and each time was really awkward, but with me being from Chicago and Patrick from New York, we both kind of know what to look out for and when we should be worried. My whole theory was, as one of my last ship friends so insightfully told me, “you’ll be alright so long as you aren’t slower than the people you’re with.” I think I can outrun Patrick, therefore, I’ll be just fine – good logic, right?
Anyways, we made it through the outskirts of the city with no problems and had a good time drinking the Russian beer we picked up, eating chips, and talking about whatever. When we got back to the port we decided to make the long walk to the ship, and seeing as the sun was already out, we knew it’d be a nice stroll. And in fact, it was very nice, till we started to get impatient and/or tired by the walk and began climbing on train cars and exploring between the large crates. It was just a fun, messing around sort of good time, and seeing as there was no one around at 6 AM, we weren’t too worried about getting in trouble. We were back at the ship soon enough, at which point we grabbed breakfast and then retired to our respective rooms.
I slept the next day and didn’t get off the ship due to In Port Manning, so that’s where my adventure ends. Maybe it wasn’t quite as exciting as some of my other overnights, but I still had a really fun time, and as always, am thankful to have returned to the ship no worse off than when I left it. I talked to some friends the next day about the club we were trying to find, which supposedly wasn’t anywhere near being within walking distance and the shuttle service from the ship stopped at 1 AM, just before we left the ship. It doesn’t really matter though because I had a good time doing my own thing and accomplished what I set out to do, have a story to tell about my overnight in Russia. Thanks for reading!